Courtrooms are not made for feelings. They are made for rules and facts and making decisions. People go in say what they have to say and then they leave with the result they probably already knew was coming. That day was different though something unexpected happened in the courtroom. It was not what anyone had planned for the Courtrooms. The Courtrooms are supposed to be calm and quiet. That day they were not.
The judge sat at the bench with his posture. He had a back and a neutral face. The judge had heard hundreds of cases before this court case. Maybe the judge had even heard thousands of cases. At glance this court case looked like another routine hearing. There was nothing, about this court case. There were no media people and no loud crowd.
The criminal was standing on the side of the place. The criminal did not move from the side.
This guy was young and really skinny. He looked totally exhausted. The orange jail suit he was wearing was a bit too large, for him. His shoulders were all hunched over like he had been lugging around a weight for a very long time. He had his hands clasped together his fingers locked tight. The young man did not appear to be angry. The young man did not seem confident either. The young man just looked completely worn out.
The lawyer started to talk.
The man, in charge told them about the charges quickly then he asked if the defendant could say something. The judge nodded his head one time. His face did not change all. He just gave the defendant permission to speak.
The young man lifted his head slowly. He moved it up. Then he looked around. The young man was taking his time. The young man wanted to see what was going on.
His voice was really low when he started talking. It was not dramatic or anything. He did not sound like he was begging for something. He just sounded tired.
He said he knew he had made mistakes. He did not deny the mistakes he had made. He said that clearly. The courtroom was really quiet. Even the police officers seemed to lean in a bit they were listening to what he had to say about the mistakes he had made.
Then he started talking about his past. He was talking about the things that happened to him in his past. The man was sharing stories about his life and the things he did in the past. He was remembering all the times and the bad times, from his past.
He talked about what it was like growing up in a house where people were always shouting at each other. There were nights when they did not have any food to eat. He also had days when he felt like school was not worth going to because nobody thought he could do anything. He said he had to drop out of school which was not what he wanted to do but someone, in his family had to get a job to support them so he was the one who had to do it he had to drop out of school to work.
The way he spoke was not fancy. His sentences would just stop in the middle of them. Then he would start talking. He had to think of what words to use. It felt like he was being real not like he was reading from something he wrote down before.
The judge did not interrupt.
That was unusual.
He normally did not listen to stories. He usually changed the subject. This time he did not do that. He sat still his eyes fixed on the person who was talking.
The man went on.
The man talked about his mother getting sick. He mentioned the hospital bills. How hard it was for him to pay them. He said he was trying to do the thing but he kept failing. He made mistakes. He knew it. The man admitted that he made choices. He did not blame anyone for his problems. He did not ask people to feel sorry, for him.
He told us about it. He just gave us an explanation.
His voice cracked at one point. It was really something that happened to his voice. The sound of his voice was not the same, for a moment. His voice cracked.
He. Took a deep breath. Then he wiped his face with his sleeve. The crying had clearly embarrassed him. He said sorry in a voice because he lost control of his emotions and that was what the crying was all, about him losing control and the tears coming out.
The judge raised his hand a bit.
Not to stop him.
I wanted to let him know that everything was okay.
That small thing someone did changed the room. The room was different because of that gesture. That small gesture made a difference in the room.
The man went on. He talked about this one night that changed everything for him. It was a mistake that he made because he was desperate. This was a moment the man said he wishes he could take back every day since it happened. The man said that going to jail scared him but not for his sake. What really scared the man, about jail was what it would mean for the family he still had the family that was left.
The courtroom was silent.
There was silence. Nothing was moving. The people, in the area were not making a sound. It felt really wrong to say anything at that moment. The public was just sitting there quietly.
The judge leaned back a little in his chair. He was sitting in his chair. He leaned back a little. The judge did this when he was thinking about the case. The judge was thinking about what the lawyer, for the defendant had said. The judge leaned back in his chair. Thought about the defendant.
His face was no longer neutral.
His jaw was tight. His eyes looked really heavy. He was not angry all. He was not judging the person either. The way he was listening to the person felt very personal. It was like he was giving his full attention to the conversation, about the topic that the person was talking about which is the thing that the person was saying, the conversation.
When the man finished he lowered his head again. The man did not look up. The man did not wait for a reaction, from anyone. The man looked like he had said everything the man had been holding inside for years.
The judge stayed quiet for a long time. The judge just did not say a word.
Too long for comfort.
People moved a little in their seats. The lawyer waited for something to happen. The police were watching everything that was going on. They were being very polite and respectful to everyone, especially the lawyer and the people, in the room.
The judge said something. The judge was talking.
His voice was different.
Still firm. Still professional. But softer.
The man said that he really liked it when people are honest. He said that the court does not usually get to hear the truth without people making excuses for what they did. The man also said that even though the law can only do much it is important to think about the situation and what was going on when something happened because understanding the context of the law matters when it comes to the court and the people, in it like the law and the court.
The man stopped talking for a moment.
The pause felt really emotional. It was like you could feel the emotions, in the air when there was a pause. The pause was emotional because it was a moment when people stopped and thought about what was happening. The pause felt emotional.
He cleared his throat once like he needed a moment to think. He did not look away, from me. His eyes got a little shiny. This was a thing but I could see it. The way his eyes shined slightly was very subtle. It was still visible.
The judge said that the person who did something in the past cannot make it disappear. The judge said that the person who committed the crime cannot take it back.. The judge can look at the person standing in front of him not just the papers about the crime that are, on his desk.
The man looked up slowly. He was looking at something. The man was really taking his time to look up. The man looked up at the thing, above him.
For the first time, there was hope on his face.
The judge explained his decision carefully. He talked about the responsibility of the person the consequences they would face and the possibility of chances for them. The judge made it clear that the decision was not about forgiving the person without them being held accountable for their actions.. At the same time the judge said it was not, about punishing the person without putting a lot of thought into the decision regarding the persons second chances and responsibility.
The man said something. It was firm but he also made sure it was fair. The sentence he delivered was firm. Balanced.
Not harsh. Not light.
Fair.
The man nodded over and over tears still coming down his face. He did not say thank you to the person who was talking to him. The man did not say anything all. He just kept nodding like the man had finally found someone who understood what the man was going through.
The judge finished talking. Then he sat back. The judge was done speaking so the judge sat back in his chair.
The courtroom was quiet for a moment and then it was like people were breathing again. The courtroom felt alive because the courtroom was filled with people who were waiting to see what would happen next, in the courtroom.
The people in the public wiped their faces quietly. Some of the police officers even looked away for a moment. The police officers did not want to see what was happening so they looked away. The people, in the public were very upset that is why they wiped their faces quietly.
The judge got up. Walked out. He did not make a deal, about it. The judge just left without any fuss.
People would talk about that case on. Some people would say that you should not let your emotions get in the way when you’re, in court. Other people would say that justice is not really justice if it does not have any humanity in it.
For the people who were actually there the whole thing was not about emotions controlling the law. It was about the law. It was about the people who were there the people who were part of it and how the law affected the people who were there. The people who were there knew that it was not about the emotions it was, about the law and how it applied to the people who were there.
The law is about remembering that it deals with people. The law has to do with people and how they live their lives. People are what the law is really, about it deals with people every day.
That day was really something. A judge did not just hear about a crime that day. The judge had to deal with a crime.
He heard a life.